Random bits.

1. The origin of camping in video games: the bathroom in 007 golden eye.


2. How does one choose whose face he or she will eat. If I were choosing, it wouldn't be a homeless dude. Just sayin.


3. "do you smell what the rock is cookin?" ....well no sir, I do not. It doesn't appear that you are actually cooking anything.


4. When I walk down the sidewalk, I feel like Ricky bobby in a post race interview, I don't know what to do with my hands.


5. Once in a lifetime a show comes around that challenges your thinking and makes you laugh, the pauly d project is not one of those shows.


6. When people say "my kids are the cutest in the whole world" they are usually just biased because they are talking about their own kids. But my kids are the cutest, it's just a fact, learn to deal with it or face the consequences.


7. Self proclamation is the easiest way to make yourself look like a huge doucher.


8. How many people get married to someone who coincidentally has the same last name? I'm not talking I live in the south and I dun married dat girl who got the same last name I got cuz she my sister. I'm saying like 2 people with the last name smith.


9. Just as I speak of my kids being the cutest, It is also a known fact that my blog is the cutest....er best in the world.


10. I want to own a car wash, but call it a car shower.


11. When fruits gets together and hang out, do they treat the tomato as an outsider because he is usually found hanging with veggies?


12. Looking back on your life to reflect on what you have accomplished is almost as important as looking forward to what you will.


13. I wonder if all the things I say and write have already been expressed by someone else in this world, if so, screw that guy.


14. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Please repeat the question, I Have a hard time hearing hippies.


15. Some day I would like to face my fear of sharks by entering a shark cage. Hopefully that same day will not be my last.


16. When someone replies to a statement I make with "are you serious?!?!" I should answer "as serious as Dale dobak was about not touching his drum set"


17. I want to go to a party, use the restroom, and unknowingly clog the toilet, only to realize there is no plunger in sight. Only then do you really know how well you perform under pressure.


18. Don't by the unbreakable aluminum wallet. Mine broke when I dropped it on a linoleum floor.


19. People who are easily offended by words like gay, homo, retard, fag ect ect just need to calm down. I know plenty of fags and retards, they are cool.It's not a big deal until you make it a big deal. Maybe they are to gay-retarded to understand.


20. Remember that game "M.A.S.H" back in the day? It foresaw your future. Somewhat accurately too.


21. That awkward moment in spin the bottle when it's your turn and everyone is sighing in relief when it doesn't land on them.


22. Sometimes I really wish I was more of a jerk. Work in progress I guess.


23. Dream job #44: pro gamer


24. If I could choose, I'm thinking I would like to live life in reverse like Benjamin button.


25. Or fulfill my fantasy of being a vampire that required orange juice to live rather than blood. Delicious immortality.


26. If a suitcase filled with money falls in front of me, with no known owner in sight, I would keep about 80%, and turn in the rest in hopes to recoup a portion of that 20% back in the form of a reward for being such a good citizen. And in hopes to not get arrested.


27. Bumper stickers are not a form of self expression, they are a form of self depreciation.


28. I think jay z and Chapstick need to collaborate on a new slogan. "I got 99 problems but my lips ain't one"


29. I have yet to see a movie in 3D, soon my friends, very soon


30. I hate when a restaurant employee says enjoy your meal, because they know what I'm gonna say, " you too".


31. Team FTJ on MW3, the best of the best.


32. "Shut your mouth when your talking to me."


33. If you wear a mouth guard while playing basketball, you are a Sally.


34. Big bang theory is hilarious.


35. I am apparently not smarter than a 5th grader. Sad.


36. Around the corner from my house there is a trailer on a small plot of land. The driveway is lined with used tires. I don't know what has to be wrong inside your head to think that is cool or acceptable. I guess that's why it is called white trash.


37. If you own a Mazda Miata, turn in your man card.


38. I want to run from the cops just once. Not having committed a crime or have any warrants, just see a cop and start running. After they chase me for a while, just stop, get handcuffed, and when they ask me why I was running from them, just say "What?! This is part of my Workout routine, why were you chasing me?!?"


38. I would also like to go to jail and break out, only to live the rest of my life in foreign countries on the run, with a new name.Hola, mi nombre es Eduardo nuchireo, no hablo inglés.


39. Sometimes when I see the American flag I want to burn it. Sue me.


40. When people weld near me, I stare at the light. I am a rebel. Maybe a soon to be blind rebel.

41. I invented a new sandwich recently. Use chicken fried steak as the bread and lasagna in the middle. I have yet to try it, I will keep you informed.

42. When I watched "fast and furious" for the first time, I peeled out of the theater parking lot like a boss.

43. If you read my blog somewhat regularly, get on a computer and view it, and hit the Facebook "like" button. And share it with your friends, because I am awesome, they should know.

44. Sometimes I think I should try out for American idol. But then I remember my fear of singing in front of people. Much like Brennan huff.

45. "your like a combination of fergie and Jesus"

46. I love country music. I don't know why, but I do.


47. Why do hotels put mints on your pillow? Put a damn steak on my pillow.


48. Sometimes I watch a movie I have seen a million times with the expectation of a different ending. So far I always end up disappointed.

49. Remember when it was cool to change your shoe laces out with different colored ones? That was pretty dumb looking back.

50. Remember kids, sharing is caring. So if you like my stuff, share it. If you don't like my stuff, share it. If you have a lot of money, share it....with me.