Life changes

Running and playing in the backyard, young children play simple games of "tag" or "hide and seek". The only cares or worries on the minds of these adolescents is what's for lunch, or what the next episode of phineas and pherb might be. Although I have been known for having doofenshmirtz on the brain, presently there is little else that can compare to my thoughts as a child(my wife may disagree). Waking in the morning now brings different thoughts for me, as I am now an "adult" with kids of my own. I awake at an ungodly early hour, to shower and prepare for my day of work. What do I think about all day you ask? Well there are my occasional A.D.D thoughts about fantasy careers and buying a new truck, but
mostly I think of my future. Financial security, car payments, house payments, cable bill, blah blah ect ect. When I was a kid I was happy to dig a hole in the ground and bury things. Maybe throw some rocks or make my brother eat a whole bottle of mustard because I knew he hated it(loosely based on true events).

As time progressed and I became a teenager, my days were occupied with school, sports, and girls, not always in that order. Still, I was young at heart and a free spirit, not weighed down by responsibility and money. Free to spend time with friends and sleep as long as my hear desired. But as most things do, these times had to end sometime.

Progressively as years pass and you are entering the final years of high school it begins. Everyone you know that isn't in school starts asking you the million dollar question. "What are you going to do after high school?". Should you go to college? Go get a job? Take a year off and join a traveling circus as an exotic animal handler? Who knows really, success has been found in all of those options. What many people find themselves doing is weighing what option will bring them more money. There's that word again, "MONEY". I hate money, maybe it's because I don't have enough. I think I hate money because it consumes our entire lives. Forgive me for all the topic changes and the overall scattered nature of this, but "that's how I roll" as the say in the hood.

After high school I decided the workforce was where I needed to be. Worked, bought a house and was living the dream. As my family grew i needed a bigger house. Sold my house and bought a nice big fancy house. My new home was nice, but also double in price. Hey that rhymed, schaweeeet!! Then I woke up one day and realized my dream was more of a nightmare, a consumerism driven 30 year mortgage kind of nightmare. My sudden realization was kinda crazy. I realized I didn't want to work my life away just to pay a house payment.

So here I am months after that defining moment, with lots of help from my wife and some family, coming close to a new chapter in life. I will be moving away from the only place I have ever known next year. I am quitting the only job I have ever known next year. It is a leap of faith you might say, but if all of my saving, sacrifices, and planning work out, it will be great.

I can only plan so far ahead, so what about later? As I get older I can't help but wonder. Right now I am 26, been married for 7 years, 3 kids ages 1,3, and 5. My oldest just started kindergarten and my youngest is a loudmouth. My middle is a bruiser and all 3 are absolutely perfect. What happens next? I don't wanna be 30, definitely don't wanna be 40. Will I raise my kids correctly? Will they succeed? Will I succeed? Will I have enough money? Will my kids suck at math as much as I do? All valid questions with no forthcoming answers. I guess I can just find comfort in knowing I already have a good life, and it will probably work out. Things could be a lot worse.

Most people would end with a sentimental paragraph thanking their friends and family, this is as close as I can get. I have very few friends, and am not particularly close to any of my family. My friends and family alike consider me somewhat anti social, with good reason. I prefer to stay at home with my kids and my wife, sue me. I would like to thank all of you though, because wether we talk all the time or not at all, I learn something from each and every one of you. The things I learn can be what to do, or what not to do, but all
Important lessons none the less. I love my family, all crazy and stubborn, but family. I love all my friends as well.

In conclusion, I am a spaz with a scatterbrained writing style and a genuine concern of growing old. I want to succeed and want all of those around me to do the same. I just poured my heart out to you, you now owe me.