A night at the fights

When I get an opportunity to watch some cage fights, I am always game. Last night was no exception. Rick suggested we go and I obliged. This was the debut event of a new fight promotion in town, so I was somewhat interested to see how it played out.

The night started off completely normal. Rick and I entered and searched for our table, number 43. We sat down and started to talk about how high the ticket prices were and how crappy out seats were compared to events past. The people at the table with us seemed completely normal. We didn't even know what the night had in store for us.

Our table layout was simple. Two couples, in their early twenties, just chat chitting, waiting for the festivities to begin, and us. There were some empty seats that would soon be filled with the wildcard of the night.

The fights were running late (crazy right?!?), so these strangers decided they wanted to talk to me and Rick. None of us knew each other, so naturally it was awkward. The first person to engage in a convo with us was josh, a bro from delta(assumed) who supposedly trains with all these fighters and can kick all their asses. Joining josh was his date Jenna, who probably didn't say one word all night, who Rick recalled as a Monroe student he knew of but didn't "know".(you know how that works). The other bro at the table was Tyler, whom Rick had recognized as an old school mate from elementary, and at hutch. Tyler was a self proclaimed cage fighter of course, with earrings and tatoos. Tyler's date was the polar opposite of Josh's. I think her name was Ariella, or some kind of stripper name like that. Ariella was a cage fighter too, who thought she knew josh from the fights in delta, where she "made that bitch sit down", which was a different way of saying she knocked her opponent out. After speaking with the already intoxicated, not intentional double daters for a while, the fights were finally ready to begin.

As the fights started two of the empty seats at the table were stealthily filled, by Josh's dad, and his date, Sarah. Josh's dad was exactly what you would imagine, a alcoholic mid 50's dude wearing a fedora. His date on the other hand, was not what you would expect, a mid 20's girl in a dress more fit for a ball than fights, who was way out of his league.

The first initial thoughts shared by Rick an I were of ofcourse: Hooker. While we were obviously joking, we could help but think there was some truth to it. Josh's dad introduced himself, as "Josh's dad"(how original), he formally introduced us to his date as well. Quickly after the heartfelt introductions, an old connection was made. Josh's dad and Ariella caught eyes and soon embraced in a hug. Apparently they had met at the "bitch sat down" fights in delta, and had dinner after as a group. Now that everyone was introduced and our roster was set, the fights could start.

Fight number one was christened with the departure of Jenna(Josh's date). She had left her jacket so a return was inevitable, but you wouldn't know that by the look on Josh's face. Tyler and Ariella are hanging all up on each other and everyone is drinking a decent amount, other than me and Rick, who are downing H20 at a bladder bursting rate.

As the fights dragged on, Tyler and josh started to bet drinks based upon each fights outcome. The sad part is, those bets were more competitive than the fights themselves. Josh's dad began to talk with his date and proclaim that her name in his phone was "hooker girl", or something like that, further cementing our suspicions.

Josh's dad would frequently leave the table, much like Josh's date Jenna. As the two would leave, Sarah and josh would scoot closer and talk closer. Soon, josh and the call girl leave the table together, and return 5 minutes later at different times. I was not sure what to make of this, so I assumed what everyone naturally would.

What happened next left me confused, but not Rick, he knew what was going on. Tyler's GF Ariella got up to go somewhere, and Tyler asked Sarah(assumed streetwalker) to go to the bathroom with him. Josh's dad immediately says "oh shit, this is gonna be bad" and jets off. So I tell Rick that I am very confused, so he explained it to me much like a father would a confused child. Rick stated that Tyler had requested the hooker accompany him, because Tyler was attempting to pay the hooker for her services, possibly for a menajahtwa. I was shocked, and happy because I had found some entertainment.

While Tyler was away, his GF returned. Tyler and the whore returned, shortly followed by Josh's dad. Josh returned later, and we were back at full capacity. Tyler and Ariella had some understandable tension building between them, and so did josh and Jenna, whom made a few appearances at the table in the mean time. Josh started telling the harlot how if Jenna doesn't come back he doesn't care and it is her loss, Sarah acts like she cares in hopes to make some money off josh.

Somewhat suddenly Ariella got up and slammed her chair into the table, while muttering incomprehensible angry words, while Tyler screams "whatever just go". No more than 2.453 minutes after Tyler's GF takes off, Sarah asks/orders Tyler, "you wanna get out of here?"(I can't make this stuff up, it's true)so Tyler steadfastily replies "yeah". Before Sarah can even get her coat on, here comes Ariella, apparently calmed from the previous little fight her and Tyler had, sits down and snuggles up to him. The look on Tyler's face was well worth the $50 admission for the sub par fights.

Sarah is perturbed and now turns her attention back to josh. Josh is not warming up to her as much now that she tried to go home with Tyler. Josh now asks Tyler, "how much weight do I need to gain to fight you?" So now as you can imagine they are having a pissing contest, talking like manly men, fighting over a common street whore.

Things don't escalate to the point of fisticuffs, much to my dismay. Rick and I are puzzled, almost in a daze because we literally couldn't believe what was going on.

The rest of the night was just a table of pure tension and awkwardness, but Rick and I were sitting pretty. We had the privilege of a real life soap opera playing out for us, and we had front row seats. It just goes to show you what can be accomplished with the perfect combination of liquor and crazy people.

Quick summary:
Hooker
Cage fighter
Girl cage fighter
Drunk dad
Whore
Streetwalker
Harlot
Lady of the evening
Creepy old guy
Other cage fighter
Hilarious

Well folks, there you have it. Sometimes you go expecting a fight, and wind up witnessing pure gold. If you ever attend the local fights, try table 43, it worked for us.